Elie Wiesel Would Have Been Disappointed in You

Posted: July 4, 2016 in Uncategorized, When Church Hurts
Tags: , ,

I haven’t posted in awhile.  But the death of Elie Wiesel brought to mind this quote the spirit of which has always been at the forefront of my thoughts on my experience with spiritual abuse.

“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” – Elie Wiesel

I am convinced that no one spoke up when we were told that we were no longer welcome at the church.  Sure, a couple of people spoke to me initially.  But no one spoke up.  No one took action.

And while they may think they were being “neutral” by not getting involved, the reality is that by not speaking up, by not stepping up and demanding that there be open and honest conversation about the years of abuse that I suffered, resulting in a God-honoring conclusion, people had taken a side: the side of the abusers.

That is why Elie Wiesel’s words are so true.  Neutrality is not truly neutrality.  Neutrality actually sides with the oppressor and encourages the tormentor.  I was tormented for years and part of the guilt lies with those who knew it was happening and didn’t speak up.  Guilt lies yet today with those who remained and continue to remain “neutral” – relying on “God” to “work it out.”

News flash:  Do you not know, dear Christian, that YOU are a temple of the living God and that His Holy Spirit dwells in YOU? (1 Cor. 3:16)  That God who dwells in you . . . may very well be the one that was/is supposed to “work it out.”



  1. “Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

    Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a Lutheran Pastor and Theologian warn Christianity of the concept of “Cheap Grace”. It was prophetic because Christianity never dealt with it and we now live in an age of “Hyper Cheap Grace”

    Pastor Bonhoeffer fought the NAZI’s and scolded the country for turning their heads for the slaughter of the Jews and the innocent.

    Pastor Bonhoeffer died a martyr, executed hanging naked from a SS noose 23 days before NAZI Germany fell and surrendered to the allies.

  2. They were silent when we were attacked and slandered also. When we spoke with people who called us after we left and told them exactly what had been said and done behind closed doors, we got either silence, condolences (which did exactly nothing, as not a one was backed up by a person willing to stand up for us), people saying “Oh, you’ll be back”, as if it were no big deal, or finally, people who told us how much they truly despised pastor’s ways, how abusive and vicious and conniving he was, but they didn’t want to do anything about it because it’s not nice to rock the boat, their friends and family attended there and they didn’t want to strain relationships. The last group was most infuriating of all, they knew the truth, they just didn’t care, it got sacrificed–as did we–on the altar of making nice.

  3. I’m sad to hear that you’re going through the wringer with work, funeral stuff, and bad triggers about church abuse. How sad too that it’s the exception instead of the rule that churches are too much like the world. Abusive pastors and other church leaders need to be exposed. The procedure in Matthew chapter 18 needs to be done. So many of Christ’s “little children” are being hurt and nobody’s made accountable for that.

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