I’m Such a Bitch

Posted: July 1, 2015 in Uncategorized, When Church Hurts
Tags: , , ,

Bottom line.  Right there.  I stood up for myself.  I questioned the way that I was treated.  I demanded apologies.  I pointed out the problem.  Which made me the problem.  And still does.

Wanna convince me otherwise, dear former-pastor-of-mine?  Dear leadership?  

Prove it.

Lay your evidence out in front of me.  Emails asking questions.  Pointing out problems.  Demanding answers and apologies.  

Prove to me that asking questions makes me a bad person.

Prove to me that ignoring me is an appropriate response.

Prove to me that ostracism and persecution without transparent justification is appropriate.  (In other words, explaining to me – proving to me – why the ostracism and persecution were justified.)

You won’t.  Because you can’t.  

No person in their right mind would agree with you that what you did and didn’t do were appropriate.  

And you know it.  

That’s why you had to banish me.  

That’s why you had to do everything you could to shut me up.

That’s why you had to convince the people in my “circle” of influence that I was the bitch problem and that they should not/could not hear my side of the story.

To save your own ass.

Interestingly enough, in so doing, I’m wondering if you are losing your own soul.  

Because the God you profess to believe in has a great deal to say about leaders. And their fate.  

Your fate.  

If you believe Him, you have much to fear.  And much to prove.  Or much to apologize for.  But you won’t.  Because you can’t.  Because you don’t really believe.

  1. Sister Ellen,

    Your last paragraph is a great summary.

    “If you believe Him, you have much to fear. And much to prove. Or much to apologize for. But you won’t. Because you can’t. Because you don’t really believe.”

    They don’t. Christ says we are to live with a penitent heart. A leader who doesn’t live a penitent life, doesn’t know the Gospel in his and her heart. They will teach it, but they don’t know it in their heart. They don’t Fear and awesome and powerful God because in their mind they are one. They are idolaters of the self. (Narcissist Ministry)

    How dare the sheep expose the wolf! How dare the sheep read the Bible!

    I just received a letter from one of the “full” time leaders of my church I am exiled from. And the letter contained every “attack card” from his Pentecostal Pokémon Card Deck. Every phrase we read on blogs like ours that reflect a siege or bunker mentality.

    The letter is an actually treasure. My family, a brother in Christ from a different church and my neighbor are sort of my official board. We have called the letter most appropriately “The letter from the Bunker.

    Bless you dear saint.

    Recovering Pentecostal in Exile
    Sheepville, NY

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