To My Readers

Posted: December 8, 2014 in Uncategorized, When Church Hurts
Tags: , , , ,

Dear Readers,
Occasionally, I have people who write to me or comment on a post asking that I allow them to solicit information from you via surveys or form submissions or most recently, a request that they solicit your stories of abuse for a book they are writing.

I always deny these requests. Why? For several reasons.

1) They never come with a full biographical sketch of the person making the request. I have no idea who they are. They may be legitimate or they may be some kind of stalker. If they are unwilling to offer this information when they make their request, I can only assume that they have ulterior motives that are not in your best interests or mine.

2) I do not want anyone to feel that my blog is for any kind of promotion or gain – for me or anyone else. I have been encouraged by several people to write my own book. And I would love to write a book someday, but that’s not why my blog exists. There are people out there who write blogs and promote themselves as speakers and life coaches and all of that. They are trying to “make it” – to make a living at writing and speaking and coaching. I am not. I just want to help others to recognize spiritual abuse and give them courage as they work toward healing.

3) I don’t want you to be exploited. Recently, I was asked if a would-be author could ask you for your stories for a book. She even claimed that she would compensate people whose stories were selected. But I couldn’t guarantee that your story would not be recast by the author of the book – saying something that wasn’t quite accurate – or that you would actually get paid if your story was chosen. I don’t want to promote someone else’s agenda when neither I nor you have any control over how that information will be used and don’t know if they have the integrity to keep their word.

So, readers, please know that if a solicitor ever gets past me and posts a request for information, unless I have personally vouched for that person, please do not respond to them. Feel free to send me a message to ask about it or to verify if the request is legitimately approved by me for my blog. Unless I have posted the information personally in a post or on a page of my blog, you can bet that it has not gotten my approval and will be removed as soon as I become aware of it.

Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate every one of you and hope that you are encouraged every time you visit here.


  1. Well done, Ellen, keeping the main thing the main thing. It would be so easy to get sucked into using your experience and that of others to self-promote (and to justify it as a good cause, enabling you to broaden your sphere of ministry and influence). But those are the very excuses used by those whose actions you are writing against. How easily “use” slips over into “abuse.” Thank you for sacrificially protecting the interests of those in need of a safe place. You remind me of Someone Else who bucked an oppressive spiritual regime. May He exalt you.


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