To Kathie, Do you realize?

Posted: October 10, 2014 in Uncategorized, When Church Hurts
Tags: , , ,

I’ve written a post specifically to Kathie before because she is a follower of my blog.

Hi Kathie,
I was thinking about our lunch date last December – the last time I saw you.

Remember when I walked into the cafe and you immediately asked if I had noticed that the daughter of the pastor who tossed us out of the church was sitting with friends a few booths away?

You said you were thinking about stopping by the church on your way home to explain to him why you were having lunch with me.

You were afraid that if he heard from his daughter that she had seen you with me, you would be in trouble.

Do you realize, Kathie, that simply fearing his wrath is a symptom of a spiritually abusive person?

Do you realize, Kathie, that the message that he gave you – whether verbally or simply something that was implied – that you should have nothing to do with me, is manipulation and control by a person on authority in the church and that is spiritually abusive.

For you to fear the judgment of a church leader/authority is an indicator that the person who has caused you to fear their response to your behavior is an abusive person.

Maybe it didn’t go so far as to make you question your standing with God, but if you had pushed it, if you had continued to be my friend and blatantly speak in support of me and argue in my defense, it could have taken you there.

Is that why you didn’t? Because you didn’t want to suffer the consequences? Your fear of his reaction to our lunch date is incontrovertible proof that a person or persons in authority in your church have the capability of being spiritually abusive.

Do you realize that?

I hope you do.



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